If My Dog Could Talk

1. Dog: WAT DOING
2. Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
3. Dog: WHERE GO
4. Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
5. Dog: CAN I COME
6. Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
7. Dog: I COME TOO
8. Dog: WAT DOING
9. Me: I need to open this door.
10. Dog: I HALP
11. Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
12. Dog: I HALP
13. Me: Sigh.
14. Dog: WHERE GOING
15. Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
16. Dog: CAN I COME
17. Me: Sure.
18. Dog: I SIT IN LAP
19. Me: No please don't you are-
20. Dog: I SIT IN LAP
21. Me: No there's no room and-
22. Dog: LAP
23. Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
24. Dog: RIGHT HERE
25. Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
26. Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
27. Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
28. Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
29. Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
30. Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
31. Me: I AM
32. Dog: I SIT IN LAP
33. Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
34. Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
35. Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
36. Me: .......